“the worst kind of pain is when your smiling just to stop the tear from falling”

Hey everyone

Can’t believe I have been blogging for over a week I have been really enjoying it and thank you for all your lovely comments and likes. I will start doing some thing a bit different soon including things such as my everyday make up, but for now it’s just a bit about my day. After this I will try to be a bit more positive but talking about what’s happened has a way of making me feel better about it.

Well the morning was okay it’s when I had lunch, don’t get me wrong I don’t particularly like education and learning your typical maths English and science but I am the type of girl who wants to just get there head down and then get the hell out of the building so a 45 minute lunch seems to last a good couple of hours. I am lucky I have a close friend and we share the same sort of attitude there but when you get people just moan about stupid things like I can’t sit here because there eating something I don’t like it becomes draining. Anyway I am fairly good at just laughing it of but it comes a point when you can’t take it anymore. I get fed up when  a 15 year old is so pathetic they have to stand outside using the excuse she can’t eat in side just to bitch about someone. So called friends just use you for when it suits and then when it’s the other way round you get nothing in return and it may sound stupid but when someone decides that your no longer of any use and you just get forgotten it hurts. Trying to have a conversation with them and then someone more interesting walks along you just get forgetten and fade into there distant past, but its one of those things you have to smile about else the tears will start rolling and might never stop. Going to school is long and its safe to say I can’t wait to get away from it. However I am a believer of everything happens for a reason so I am guessing it’s taught me a lesson, be careful who you trust as sometimes people turn out to be someone you thought they weren’t.

On a more positive note I am seeing the pony on Friday and I have some great family things planned soon, as well as a make up shop with my main girl in half term and lots more we have too look forward to. Also my guinea pig and hamster beds have arrived which are really cute, and I finally got round to ordering real techniques brushes.

Thank you if you read any of that love you guys let me know if there are any types of blog posts you want me to do. Have a good day tomorrow


~M xx


” I’ve learnt you can keep going long after you think you can’t “

Hi everyone ,

Thankyou so much for all the support I hope you have all had a good start to this week.

My Monday was long as per usual but today has been much better as I have been on a course rather than at school, but doing it has taught me that even when you think you have reached your limit you can still keep going as actually you are capable of it. It’s one of those things that takes ages to realise but when you think about it you can carry on. I do agree sometimes it might be easier to give up and forget about it however to continue trying is a bigger achievement than you would imagine in some situations and once you have done it once you can make your mind think your capable of anything you want to do. I will admit that for years I kept walking away from things when I thought it got to hard but really I could have done it if I really wanted it, having that way of thinking is more help than you might expect and I have learnt that the hard way. Now when I look back the amount of amazing opportunitys I have let slip away because of it leaves me with a bucket load of regrets.

Okay so basically what I am trying to say is summed up in this quote “Making a big life decision is scary, but I know what’s even scarier? Regret “. Regretting not taking that chance is a whole lot worse that being scared of doing the unknown. To be honest I can’t really talk but from now on I am going to try and look at things from this perspective, because this course has been a rollercoaster of things I didn’t think I would be able to achieve but I have been starting to do what I thought was the impossible for me.

Thabkyou for reading all that I hope some of you will be able to relate to what I am saying or this might be able to help you in some way. Have a good week will hopefully get chance to blog again this week however it is pretty busy, but my LUSH order should arrive soon so I will make sure to do a blog about my favourite purchases.

Love you guys

~ M xx

“too me you are perfect”


Hope everyone is well and has been enjoying themselves this weekend and thank you to everyone who has liked commented and followed I really appreciate it. Today I thought I would tell you about someone who is special to me.

Well when I say someone I don’t mean a person I am talking about an animal, however there are many special people in my life also, but while most people would rather stay inside in the warm on a wintery Friday evening I prefer to be at the yard. I don’t have a stack load of money or my own horse but I am lucky to have a pony on loan. She is my world my escape from everything after a long week knowing I can go see her keeps me going I love her in a way many people may not understand but that doesn’t matter. Its like having a friend who will listen for hours and enjoy your company without telling you that you did something wrong and even when she decidedes to be cheeky and I end up falling of it doesn’t matter because she’s perfect just the way she is.

Riding her for the last year has made me see more positive in everything and I thought I should tell you a bit about her as she is a big part of my life and part of the reason I am who I am today. Sorry to those of you who may not find this blog as interesting.

Thank you if you read all I hope Monday goes well and if there any particular blogs you would like me to do let me know in the comments. I will try to do a January favourites at the end of the month and my everyday makeup but I am open to ideas.


~ M

❤ xx

“thanks for being the friend who believed in me”

Hi hope your all okay and have a good weekend.

Now today I wasn’t really sure what to blog about as I had a few ideas but in the end I decided to tell you about how I came to realise something my friend taught me.

Whilst I was gazing out of the window at a group of year children who were scared of going inside alone it occured to me that I used to be one of those people who would just follow the crowd in fear of not being accepted. I then realised Amber had taught me that being yourself is much more important than  trying to be someone your not. Gradually over the past year I have stopped being a ‘sheep’ and started actually trying to be myself. School may be an exception to this as I have found it impossible trying to open up and be me, but there is no way without her I would have the confidence to get a job and go out for days without the fear of being judged. So thank you amber for always believing in me and not just leaving me because I had little personality when you first met me.

It’s always easier being a ‘sheep’ but when you become yourself you will feel so much better for it it’s like giving yourself a fresh start.

Thankyou to those of you have read this comment and tell me what plans u have for the weekend .


~ M xx

“I love walking in the rain because nobody knows I am crying”

Hi everyone

Thank you to all of you who read my previous post. I was going to blog yesterday but my mind was in the wrong place and I kept going to write but it made little sense.

Going back to school was harder than I had imagined and I felt so out of place. To be honest it’s not really the school that’s the problem it’s more down to the people there. I came home and just wanted to cry everything that had happened was just a mess and it all was starting to become too much. However feeling that alone when surrounded by so many people made me realise how lucky I am. It may sound odd but looking around the group’s of friends you could see all the people who were just using each other rather than actually being friends who would help you if you needed them, and because of that it made me think that I am lucky as I do have friends ans family who would support you in the good and the bad.

So even though you may feel alone at times where you don’t think you fit in think of those people who have been there for you when you needed them most. It’s easier said than done but it makes you appreciate it and at the end of the day the people who look as though they have the most company are probably the most alone.

I hope you have all had a good day comment and let me know what you have enjoyed most today.

Thanks for reading


~ M xx

Just the start


I hope that you all had a good new year!

Now were to begin. I want to make my first blog about something of interest however I have decided to have it as a sort of introduction. So here I go if you don’t want to know why I have started blogging then you probably won’t want to read the rest of this but anyway for those of you that might want to.

A few weeks before we broke up for the Christmas holidays I decided I wanted to stop pretending to be someone I am not. 1. It means I have to hide up the truth about everything 2. I constantly feel uncomfortable 3. It makes me nervous and lastly I feel as if I don’t fit in. Well it’s easier said than done trying to be who you really are around people who think they know you and I lack confidence as it is. After deciding it was harder than I thought and much easier to put on a fake smile and nod your way through it when I only have 2 years left at this school I gave up. Now I know I shouldn’t but it doesn’t seem worth it when there is only a few people in the school who I actually trust one being my brother. So when my friend who knows Pretty much everything about me suggested blogging I thought I would try it in the new year. Basically my blog is going to have a mix of things on it really but I wanted somewhere I could be totally me without being told its not like me to say that or behave in this way. Maybe even other people feel the same way.

If if you have read all of that then thanyou I hope you have a good week. Let me know you thoughts on why you started blogging.

Thanks again love u

~ M xx