“the worst kind of pain is when your smiling just to stop the tear from falling”

Hey everyone

Can’t believe I have been blogging for over a week I have been really enjoying it and thank you for all your lovely comments and likes. I will start doing some thing a bit different soon including things such as my everyday make up, but for now it’s just a bit about my day. After this I will try to be a bit more positive but talking about what’s happened has a way of making me feel better about it.

Well the morning was okay it’s when I had lunch, don’t get me wrong I don’t particularly like education and learning your typical maths English and science but I am the type of girl who wants to just get there head down and then get the hell out of the building so a 45 minute lunch seems to last a good couple of hours. I am lucky I have a close friend and we share the same sort of attitude there but when you get people just moan about stupid things like I can’t sit here because there eating something I don’t like it becomes draining. Anyway I am fairly good at just laughing it of but it comes a point when you can’t take it anymore. I get fed up when  a 15 year old is so pathetic they have to stand outside using the excuse she can’t eat in side just to bitch about someone. So called friends just use you for when it suits and then when it’s the other way round you get nothing in return and it may sound stupid but when someone decides that your no longer of any use and you just get forgotten it hurts. Trying to have a conversation with them and then someone more interesting walks along you just get forgetten and fade into there distant past, but its one of those things you have to smile about else the tears will start rolling and might never stop. Going to school is long and its safe to say I can’t wait to get away from it. However I am a believer of everything happens for a reason so I am guessing it’s taught me a lesson, be careful who you trust as sometimes people turn out to be someone you thought they weren’t.

On a more positive note I am seeing the pony on Friday and I have some great family things planned soon, as well as a make up shop with my main girl in half term and lots more we have too look forward to. Also my guinea pig and hamster beds have arrived which are really cute, and I finally got round to ordering real techniques brushes.

Thank you if you read any of that love you guys let me know if there are any types of blog posts you want me to do. Have a good day tomorrow

Love

~M xx

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” I’ve learnt you can keep going long after you think you can’t “

Hi everyone ,

Thankyou so much for all the support I hope you have all had a good start to this week.

My Monday was long as per usual but today has been much better as I have been on a course rather than at school, but doing it has taught me that even when you think you have reached your limit you can still keep going as actually you are capable of it. It’s one of those things that takes ages to realise but when you think about it you can carry on. I do agree sometimes it might be easier to give up and forget about it however to continue trying is a bigger achievement than you would imagine in some situations and once you have done it once you can make your mind think your capable of anything you want to do. I will admit that for years I kept walking away from things when I thought it got to hard but really I could have done it if I really wanted it, having that way of thinking is more help than you might expect and I have learnt that the hard way. Now when I look back the amount of amazing opportunitys I have let slip away because of it leaves me with a bucket load of regrets.

Okay so basically what I am trying to say is summed up in this quote “Making a big life decision is scary, but I know what’s even scarier? Regret “. Regretting not taking that chance is a whole lot worse that being scared of doing the unknown. To be honest I can’t really talk but from now on I am going to try and look at things from this perspective, because this course has been a rollercoaster of things I didn’t think I would be able to achieve but I have been starting to do what I thought was the impossible for me.

Thabkyou for reading all that I hope some of you will be able to relate to what I am saying or this might be able to help you in some way. Have a good week will hopefully get chance to blog again this week however it is pretty busy, but my LUSH order should arrive soon so I will make sure to do a blog about my favourite purchases.

Love you guys

~ M xx

Just the start

Hi

I hope that you all had a good new year!

Now were to begin. I want to make my first blog about something of interest however I have decided to have it as a sort of introduction. So here I go if you don’t want to know why I have started blogging then you probably won’t want to read the rest of this but anyway for those of you that might want to.

A few weeks before we broke up for the Christmas holidays I decided I wanted to stop pretending to be someone I am not. 1. It means I have to hide up the truth about everything 2. I constantly feel uncomfortable 3. It makes me nervous and lastly I feel as if I don’t fit in. Well it’s easier said than done trying to be who you really are around people who think they know you and I lack confidence as it is. After deciding it was harder than I thought and much easier to put on a fake smile and nod your way through it when I only have 2 years left at this school I gave up. Now I know I shouldn’t but it doesn’t seem worth it when there is only a few people in the school who I actually trust one being my brother. So when my friend who knows Pretty much everything about me suggested blogging I thought I would try it in the new year. Basically my blog is going to have a mix of things on it really but I wanted somewhere I could be totally me without being told its not like me to say that or behave in this way. Maybe even other people feel the same way.

If if you have read all of that then thanyou I hope you have a good week. Let me know you thoughts on why you started blogging.

Thanks again love u

~ M xx